Have you ever met a guy who you like so much and ticks off all your boxes only to have ice cold water poured on all that lovey lovey in your mind when you meet his family?
Lemme paint a typical (and quite common) scenario. You meet a hunk of a guy, you hit it off instantly, date nights lead to something steady and in your mind you’re like “this might just be the real deal”.
After months (or weeks if you’re like Taylor) and in some cases years, you get to meet the family. Then, ghen ghen, the kind of energy that hits you in the face doesn’t cut it but you chuck it up to nerves. I mean, you’re visiting for the first time and it will be wrong to make such an assumption abi.
And you get to interact with the MIL ( mother in-law and and the vibe you get is a mix of the usual Patience Uzokwor role in Nollywood movies ( before she became born again of course) and Terrence J’s in Think like A Man, then your mind goes into overdrive. Trust me, I’ve been there.
The million dollar question is “What do you do?”
If you thought this was a post meant to advise, sorry to burst your bubble. We all handle our in-law shenanigans differently, every situation being peculiar.
But mothers, take a chill pill and let your son’s wife rest. Wives, don’t give your son’s mother hell.
I’m not going to address this from the wife or the mother’s perspective. There’s just one thing that could solve this inlaw drama everywhere.
Let me not lie to you, a lot of Nigerians are wicked religious people (No, I’m not an atheist, I love God), that mother inlaw that is stressing the frack out of her son’s wife is a “Deaconess Evangelist” in one church. That wife that will curse the living daylight out of their husband’s mother is a sonorous chorister in a beautiful church choir. Stop wearing religion as a garment to take off when you want to unleash your weyrey(craziness). I cannot really trash the religion issue, that’s will be a post for another day.
Now, where was I? Yes, HUMANE
What does it mean to be humane. It is to be kind, to be marked by compassion and consideration.
My people, even though kindness is a fruit of the spirit, it is lacking in plenty, Christian or not.
How cool will it be if you view every other human as an extension of yourself, regardless of their sex, gender, position, age? It really takes all our problems off the table (yes, I said all).
A lil disclaimer right here: kindness is not equal to being a pushover, nah. I am kind, but will never be afraid to say how I feel. As far, you’re not bringing any harm to me, I will be considerate ( putting myself in your shoes).
Though this post was born out of me reminiscing about my own little in-law drama a while back, I decided to approach it from a human angle instead of looking at it from the perspective of two parties. Weird how I started with in-law drama and ended with kindness, I know. That’s where the voices in my head led me today.
Go out and kill em with kindness….. Kisses ????